What turned out to be our final stop onshore was the Ecotrek to the Bamboo Falls. It’s not on Google Maps but it’s close to the Seven Sisters Waterfalls in the Grand Etang National Park.

We started off with the usual collection by our tour guides, and then we were split into more manageable bus-load sized groups and taken aboard our “King Elvis” buses.

After our first outing on St Vincent, everything else was easy going in so far as exercise went. So even though there was a bit of a hill getting down to the river (and therefore that same hill after our swim on the way back), it was all very doable.

The way down the hill was interrupted periodically by our guides showing us one or other of the spices and fruit trees growing along the path. Grenada is the Spice Island after all, so it was interesting learning how some of the spices are prepared and what they were used for.

The river crossing was supported by a rope strung across the river and this was apparently rated for 100kgs (220lbs). As it was totally optional to use the rope and really it was just there for assistance, I hoped nobody had been put off the excursion because of the weight limit.

As it was I ended up carrying Ange on my back for the middle section of the river (about three steps) and the rest was able to be done on the rocks in the water, so a little bit of overkill there!

On the way back (with feet wet from the swim) a couple of people slipped on the rocks and sat rather heavily on one or other of the stones, damaging ego more than body.

There were two river crossings, the second one not supported by a rope but very near jumpable, being so narrow. This one was a little more dangerous because it was a little less exposed and so the rocks had a little layer of lichen on them – making them that much more slippery underfoot.

But after that it was plain sailing.

And the prize! A gorgeous pool at the base of a thunderous waterfall. Even more slippery getting down to the water’s edge, but well worth it after you did so. Cool rather than bracing.

On the way back we stopped off for a few minutes at the Visitors Centre where we could buy knick-knacks, spices or fruit. But most people just used the toilets and free Wi-Fi.

The tour continued on the way back with the guides pointing out the painted eucalyptus tree and talking a bit about the history and touching on “the intervention” back in the 1980s when US and Caribbean forces invaded the country.

This was our last port of call, we then spent a night at sea puttering around off the shore of Grenada at two knots before returning to Barbados.

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We’re not from Australia, but were still a little nervous about swimming with creatures that had killed Steve Irwin. We needn’t have worried – as our briefings explained, these were different animals and unless we applied force onto the barb, it was physically impossible for the stingrays to harm us. Phew!

But first we had some kayaking to do!

I had to go in the back, and I was surprised that Ange’s end wasn’t a foot out of the water such is the mass difference between us!

A leisurely paddle around the island and peering through the shallows at the mangrove roots in search for some sort of wildlife passed the time nicely enough.

And then we were off to the platform for feeding the stingrays.

It was awesome!

My favourite part of the clip is when the ray brushes past the lady and she freaks out trying to get away.

After leaving St John’s in Antigua, we headed to St George’s on Grenada.

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I had seen images of planes landing mere metres above the heads of beach goers on social media and in the news, so I was fascinated to get the opportunity to go and see Maho Beach itself.

We’d been one of the first cruises operational after the Covid-19 restrictions had been eased, and as a result of that we’d been the lone ship in each port we arrived at. So it was a surprise when one ship after another arrived in Philipsburg until the towering cruise ships felt like skyscrapers along city blocks.

After getting into our buses and starting the trek across the island, we arrived at Maho Beach in time for a small jet to land directly above us.

We soon found that the local bar had the times of the big planes coming in – a word of warning though, these are the expected times: they can be earlier or later!

There were plenty of people at the well built up bar and restaurants to the left of the beach, and the bucket of six beers for $15 looked like a great deal. Some tourists were plonked down on the sun loungers under an umbrella and drinking their way through a couple of those buckets.

But we decided to go for a walk to the other side of the beach. There we found another, less crowded bar and settled in for some wings and a drink.

After seeing a couple of the larger planes landing (interspersed with a steady stream of turbo prop and smaller jets), we went for a swim on the private beach outside the flash hotels. Nobody asked us to move and we weren’t on any of the sun loungers so a peaceful few hours in the sun passed the time nicely.

After returning to the ship, we had dinner and then went for a walk on the deck. We hadn’t left port and we were curious as to why that might be. As we made our way along the deck we noticed that another Royal Caribbean ship was pulling in opposite us and after they had tied up, a group of our crew made their way with all their luggage onto the dock, in readiness for some sort of prisoner exchange?

We got talking to some of the other observers and discovered that these crew members were heading to Europe for the start of the season there – the two weeks it would take conveniently matching the quarantine rules and allowing them to get the ship ready for passengers after being laid up in port while Covid was raging. Mystery solved!

Our next stop was St John’s in Antigua.

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Our first stop and our first excursion. We milled around with all the other tour passengers before being divided up into bus loads and heading out of the port area.

We were heading towards the Vermont Nature Trails, the map not really reflecting the altitude and ruggedness of the roads.

Our guide stopped off periodically while we were in the open to discuss the different produce being grown along our way. Corn, taro, spices, bananas, breadfruit… the climate certainly makes it easy to grow!

And then the jungle began and the talking stopped. It was steps. Soo many steps. We were at altitude (well, 1200 feet/400 metres) and it was hard going. Maybe not “Monastery at Petra” hard going, but not far off. One of our party couldn’t make it. We left his body where it had fallen on the side of the track.

But we did it. The seats at the top were very welcome and we were happy for the rest. Our guide was a retired Ranger who had been involved with the project putting in the trail. When I found this out I turned to him and said “So we’ve got you to thank for all those stairs?” He saw the funny side.

We took the opportunity to talk to some of the other people on the cruise. It was an interesting cross section. Some, like us, were from the UK. Others were American or Canadian who were escaping the snow and cold.

I chatted with one guy who was a Canadian doctor who had spent some time out in the wilderness of Alaska tending to the local villages up there. Interesting guy – super into wildlife. He’d been to every continent and raved about New Zealand.

We kept an eye out for the native parrot of St Vincent, but didn’t have any luck. Our guide got super excited at one point, recognising the parrot’s call. We all laughed as he hadn’t realised that my new doctor friend was actually playing the call on his phone in an attempt to attract the real parrots to our spot.

Going back was sooo easy. It took maybe a quarter of the energy that going up did and it was soo much more enjoyable! On the way down someone saw some freshwater crayfish.

And the best part – free rum punch at the end!

Saying goodbye to St Vincent and the Grenadines, we headed to Basseterre on St Kitts.

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The original name for the island was actual St Christopher’s Island, but a common shortening of Christopher was Kitt, so in the 17th Century it evolved into St Kitts Island, or just St Kitts.

Like a lot of the other Caribbean islands, sugar was grown in plantations and on St Kitts, a train line was built in 1912 to take the cane to a central processing plant.

The sugar industry took a huge hit when the price dropped when the world turned to beets and the railway was in decline by the late 1920s. It was resurrected in 2003 as a tourist attraction.

The remnants of windmills used to split the sugar cane are dotted around the island. The train winds its way half way around the island pottering along at 10mph. Fast enough to navigate the slight inclines, but slow enough to allow goats and cows to get out of the way.

The tour guide was Patricia (but you can call me Sweet-P) and she kept up a running commentary of everything visible from the train, including the island’s junkyard. A rare tour indeed where the guide lists all the garbage she can see: “refrigerators, containers, machinery” all in that languid Caribbean drawl.

Monkeys! Ange actually saw them first, bounding away in front of the train along the rails. She actually thought that they were rabbits at first. Then they cut left and headed out over the fields. The farmers on St Vincent have to deal with snakes and monkeys, making for some interesting hazards!

Dancers in traditional costumes joined each carriage to demonstrate some of the islands dances. We’d seen them making their way through the other carriages, and the second time through a couple of the kids got up and attempted to learn the dance.

There are four bridges on the route, and this was the most scenic.

While we crossed over the road four times, we crossed it more often than that. The cars waited patiently and after the second or third crossing I noticed that the barriers were manual and were being operated by the same guy in the cream SUV.

He would drive along ahead, block the road until we’d passed and then jump back into his car to go to the next stop. Waiting there until we caught back up and repeat the whole thing all over again. It took two hours to get to the EcoPark and then two hours back so four hours of nurse-maiding the train through the roads.

The route finished at the St Kitts EcoPark, where we decamped to complete the circuit of the island by mini bus and the other group took our places on the train for the return trip. After returning to the ship and leaving Basseterre, we headed to Philipsburg on the Dutch side of Sint Maarten.

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As the world began to get back to normal after Covid, we decided to have a look at some of the islands of the Caribbean, leaving the port of Bridgetown in Barbados on the Grandeur of the Seas.

Checking in required us to travel 200m by bus from the terminal to the testing facility where we had to do a lateral flow Covid test and then wait for the results.

There was supposed to be Wi-Fi so that we could get the email regarding the test results, but it was a little patchy so we ended up going up to the desk after 25 minutes and they pulled up our results, allowing us to proceed.

The Grandeur of the Seas was just outside the testing station, tantalisingly close while we were waiting for the results…

And then we were allowed on board. Our room cards were in an envelope on the door. Our cabin was the cheapest they had: on the second floor, with no windows. The mirrors were partly to make the room appear larger!

Having said that, the room did have a couch. Which was the perfect size for Ange.

My favourite was Channel 3 which featured a feed from the camera on the bridge looking out over the front right of the ship. Handy for figuring out whether we’d docked yet. The feed rotated through maps of where we were including such data as our depth, course, speed, time of sunrise and sunset etc.

There was a compulsory safety briefing which meant we had to go up to our muster station and check in.

But that was it – time to explore the ship! The top level featured a running track.

A big screen TV for watching movies. Sounds great. But the soundtrack for the movies would cut out randomly for 30-60 seconds every 5-10 minutes, replaced with random music. Nothing ruins immersion quicker!

The view down to the Windjammer buffet restaurant.

The Solarium was an adults only area under glass with a deep pool (and lifeguard) and two Jacuzzis.

The main restaurant was Art Deco’s finest Great Gatsby.

The Centrum was a central atrium with live music at the base of the elevators. Which was a terrible design as the Customer Service desk, Next Cruise desk and Excursions desks were all on the fifth floor, so the music drowned out any attempts at communications.

A climbing wall was at the stern of the ship. Looking down from the top would be 200ft from the water’s surface.

There was a slight shifting of our destinations due to Covid but we ended up going to:

Kingstown in St Vincent and the Grenadines

Basseterre in St Kitts and Nevis

Philipsburg in Sint Maarten

St John’s in Antigua

St George’s in Grenada

before returning to Bridgetown in Barbados.

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Animal Flower Cave

Starting off at the northern most point of the island is the Animal Flower Cave, so called because the initial discoverers of the sea-anemones which resided in the pools thought that they were flowers. But when they touched them and the “flowers” reacted, they changed their opinion!

It’s cheap to go down into the cave – we only saw one sea-anemone, but the real star of the show are the pools. They’re fed from the ocean and periodically a large wave will crash in from the Atlantic and replenish the water – make sure you keep your wits about you!

Keep an eye on their FaceBook page because that’s where they post if its closed due to the waves being too rough. A long way to go only to discover that it’s closed! BB$25 per adult which is about £9 for a unique swimming experience, I thought was worth the money.

Barbados Wildlife Reserve

Feeding time is at 2pm and if you go anytime other than that you can expect to be disappointed. Sure the rest of the animals will still be around, but there’s something about the concentrated chaos of all the animals getting fed at once plus the wild monkeys joining in which makes this place fun. At a US$15 (£11) entrance fee for adults, it won’t break the bank either.

Bathsheba Beach

The wild Atlantic east coast of Barbados is the rough side – ok for surfing, less so for swimming. Bathsheba is a fishing village with a typical east coast beach. It’s known for it’s unusual rock formations and the largest one is just close enough to the beach for exploring. Take your shoes and be careful of the sea urchins, surf and coral.

Harrison’s Cave

They’ve got big plans! The entrance hall has a map of what it will look like soon: a slide down the hill, zip lines and suspension bridge. But what brings people here is the train trip through the caves. Harrison’s Cave isn’t cheap (adults US$57/£42), but the other worldliness certainly contributes to the uniqueness of the experience.

Crane Beach and Ginger Bay

While the East Coast is best avoided unless you have a surfboard under your arm, there are the odd exceptions – beaches enjoying a little bit of protection from headlands making them swimmable. We went to Ginger Bay first but it was deserted – never a good sign when swimming.

Around the corner to Crane Bay and there were a lot of people in the water and umbrellas and sun lounges. So even if we did get swept away, there were other people around who might see/hear and raise the alarm.

Snorkelling

We booked an excursion with Tranquillity Cruises who took us out to Carlisle Bay where six shipwrecks just off the shore allow for an interesting snorkel. They also stop and feed the turtles so you get to swim with them as well.

And if that wasn’t enough fun, there is also a slide from the top deck of the boat. You get 90 minutes and a free drink for your US$28 ticket and they’ll pick you up from your hotel for a fee as well.

Rockley Beach

Rockley Beach is nice – its got a gentle set of waves which you can just body surf on and its protected being on the south coast. It also has some great sunsets and is well served by restaurants and bars, featuring a lovely boardwalk.

Worthing Beach

Also on the south coast, Worthing Beach is a tiny strip of sand between the ocean and the properties bordering it. More interesting than awesome.

Oistin’s Fish Fry

Only on a Friday night. This is the place to party, its got a lot of independent BBQ grillers and all offering an interesting array of fish and fish alternatives. We had swordfish, dolphinfish, billfish and chicken. It’s all cooked fresh in front of you and served with some healthy sides.

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Behind the man, a pair of rustic looking gates with peeling paint burst open and an ambulance car entered the arena. Before a stretcher could be fetched, the man staggered to his feet to a cheer from the crowd. Retrieving his hat, he limped off, shoulders supported by two officials. His chance of glory had been cruelly shattered by a horse he’d thought he could tame.

The Fiesta de la Patria Gaucha was the highlight of the social calendar in the Uruguayan town of Tacuarembó. A friend of mine had been a couple of years before and had raved about it so much that I wanted to go and see what all the fuss was about.

It hadn’t been the easiest of trips to arrange. Getting there wasn’t the problem – a direct flight to Montevideo followed by a comfortable 4 hour bus ride north into the Uruguayan countryside. However, accommodation in Tacuarembó was pretty limited and I hadn’t had much luck booking anything online.  There wasn’t much in the way of hotels and hostels to begin with, let alone while a major event was on.

Panagea Ranch

However, serendipity led me to Panagea Ranch, about an hour outside of town.  Its website was refreshingly honest. I won’t bore you with the details but the gist of it was something along the lines of “We’ll be getting on with the business of running our cattle and sheep ranch.  If you don’t get in the way and can cope with just the basics, you can stay.”

In reality, it was that and then some: hearty, home cooked meals, copious amounts of the local vino and plenty of fresh air to blow away the hangovers with twice-daily rides.

It was challenging, yet exhilarating. Host Juan believed in taking people well beyond their comfort zone, while wife Susana was a little more motherly towards their guests.  The electricity went off at ten, there was no WiFi and the entertainment was what you made it.

Each day we rode out to help Juan take care of his livestock: herding cattle one minute, putting them through the noxious vat of sheep dip the next. We returned to the ranch for meals and to soothe our aches and pains.

Fiesta de la Patria Gaucha

Finally, we’d earned some time off for the Fiesta de la Patria Gaucha. Juan had run us into town with strict instructions about when he was leaving. There was no need for us to leave at the same time, he said, so long as we were happy to make our own way back.

There was plenty to see and do, so I set about making sure I didn’t miss anything. The festivities were held in a makeshift showground on the edge of town, with stalls appropriately forming the shape of a horseshoe around a lake.

They sold anything and everything you could possibly want for the cowboy life.  You could buy a hat, boots, jodhpurs and spurs – and most probably a horse if you knew who to ask.

Scattered among the retailers were pop-up restaurants and bars. If the smoke from the asado was a dead giveaway to the location of the food, then so too were the rear ends of horses to tell you where the bar was.

It seemed there was no need to dismount to be served, and no penalty for being drunk in charge of a horse, so long as you didn’t fall off and hurt anyone.

No one did of course. In these parts, kids learned to ride before they could walk, and their skills put me, a novice rider, to shame. Young girls in broad skirts rode side-saddle as they competed in a barrel race, leaning at impossible angles yet somehow managing to remain seated.

In the horse and rider version of musical chairs, how the participants didn’t get trampled and bruised was anyone’s guess.  But the star attraction was the daredevil riders, some bareback, others comfy on sheepskins and saddles.  Their attempts to cling on to the rope halters of their bucking steeds were impressive. These horses were as wild as they came, kicking and bucking in a spirited attempt to free themselves of their human burdens. For the most part, they managed.

I was in awe. A gentle trot to round up Juan’s cattle had been challenging enough. These guys were in another league altogether.

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Enroute from a cowboy festival in Uruguay, to the salt flats of Uyuni in Bolivia, this was the perfect opportunity to see for myself just what made this part of Argentina so special. It was straightforward to arrange a flight to Salta. From there, I planned to catch local buses all the way to La Quiaca, stopping off along the way and crossing the border into Bolivia.  I’m pleased to report it didn’t disappoint.

Here are what I’d consider the highlights from my trip and one that frustratingly, I had to pass up.

1. Visit a Centuries-old Inca Mummy

Salta is home to three very special children. They’re long dead, but their well-preserved features belie their date of death. From a modern perspective, it’s hard to understand the Inca ritual of child sacrifice.

But not far from Salta’s plaza, on the top of a 6700m high volcano named Llullaillaco, a team of mountaineers and archaeologists discovered the mummified remains of three children. You can see one of them at a time on display at MAAM in Salta and it’s a poignant and haunting sight.

I saw the Lightning Girl, her white milk teeth a giveaway that she’d been just five or six years old when she died. Unlike the others, she didn’t bury her head into her knees, instead she looked straight ahead. Had she been too young to comprehend what had happened to her?

2. Hill of Seven Colours

Purmamarca was my first stop along what’s called the Quebrada de Humahuaca, a narrow valley characterised by cacti, russet-coloured rocks and dusty towns crammed full of adobe homes.

Behind the village, the Cerro de Siete Colores (translating as the “hill of seven colours”) lay its showpiece attraction. This geological oddity owes its characteristics to varied rock types and tectonic uplift. It was an easy, circular hike without significantly steep inclines, enjoyable save for the gusts of wind that now and again knocked me for six as I rounded a corner.

3. Haggle for Colourful Souvenirs at One of the Area’s Handicraft Markets

Our home is full of treasures I’ve picked up on my travels across South America. The market that snakes along Purmamarca’s dusty streets and under the shade of the trees in its plaza is a delightful one.  I recommend building in plenty of time after your hike to pick up a souvenir or two.

4. Trek with Llamas to a Remote Salt Lake

Bolivia may have the vast expanse of the Salar de Uyuni but a couple of hours’ drive from Tilcara is Argentina’s response.  The Salinas Grandes aren’t as big, but they provide a more intimate experience. I arranged to meet a llama herder named Santiago and together we walked from his farm to the salt lake.

He spoke little English, but we needed no words as we ambled across the flat plain that surrounded the lake. While the llamas rested, we enjoyed a picnic lunch on the lakeshore, not a soul about.

5. Visit the Ancient Pre-Columbian Remains of Pucará de Tilcara

Outside the tourist town of Tilcara, the most convenient base for travellers journeying along the Quebrada de Humahuaca, you’ll find a pre-Columbian site called the Pucará de Tilcara. It once was used for defence and occupies a small hillock on the edge of town. In places it has been unsympathetically restored, but the site you’ll walk around dates from the 12^th century and once was a town housing around 2,000 people, about a third of the population of Tilcara today.  Together with the small botanical garden nearby, it makes a pleasant afternoon’s outing.

And the one that got away…

6. Tren a las Nubes

Tied to the dates of the cowboy festival, I arrived in northern Argentina a couple of weeks too early to ride the Tren a las Nubes, the train to the clouds. One of Argentina’s most thrilling heritage railways, it’s the fifth highest in the world. Though much of the journey currently operates by rail replacement bus service, what does still ride the rails takes passengers to the impressive viaduct of La Polvorilla which spans a high altitude desert canyon. It looks incredible – and that’s a good excuse to go back to this off the radar corner of Argentina for a second look.

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1. Don’t rule out a tour

Your backpacking days might be over, but taking a group tour to the salt flats is still the cheapest and easiest way to reach them.  That said, the basic level of comfort during the overnight stops isn’t what everyone will be looking for.

If that’s the case, stick to a day trip from Uyuni instead. Some drivers and vehicles get a poor write up in terms of safety, so choose wisely, it will minimise your risk of being caught up in an accident or stranded by a breakdown. I went with Red Planet expeditions (£62 booked online via Kanoo Tours), but whichever operator you choose, read as many reviews as you can before booking, as experiences vary considerably.

2. Stay in a salt hotel

They don’t come cheap, but a night in a salt hotel is one of the most memorable accommodation experiences you’ll have in Latin America. Several hotels have sprung up near the village of Colchani on the edge of the salt flats; my choice was the excellent Luna Salada (£223 for 1 night).

Beds sit on platforms of salt and walls are constructed from salt blocks too. Finer salt, the consistency of sand, minimises the discomfort of walking on the hotel room floor in your bare feet. Opt for a room facing the salt flats for the best view at sunset.

3. Choose your season carefully

In winter and early spring, rain falls over the salt flats causing extensive flooding. While this might sound like a reason not to go, in fact it’s the complete opposite.

Jeeps are still able to access the salt flats, but areas with standing water offer some of the most spectacular reflections on the planet. Note, though, that by opting for flood season, there’s a good chance that you won’t be able to see the oversized cacti on Incahuasi Island as the water will have cut them off.

4. Take flip flops or thick socks

When you reach the flooded parts of the salt flats, your guide will give you plenty of time to walk around on the salt lake.  Your shoes will get soaked and though wellington boots would be suitable, they’re too bulky to be practical for a suitcase.

Instead, pack a pair of flip flops to save your feet from being cut to ribbons on the sharp salt crystals beneath the shallow water. If you forget, double up your thickest socks instead.

5. Pack a toy dinosaur…

…or an empty can of Pringles. Vast expanses of salt stretch to the horizon in all directions, making this the perfect place to shoot some crazy perspective photos.

You can trick the eye – and your camera – into thinking that nearby objects are larger than they actually are. I can honestly say I’ve run away from a dinosaur, surfed on top of a wine bottle and clambered out of a Pringles can. If you’ve forgotten your props, don’t worry – most tour guides carry spares.

6. Consider hopping over the border

Northern Argentina has some of the most incredible landscapes in South America – including its own salt flats, the Salinas Grandes.  They’re considerably smaller than those you’ll encounter near Uyuni, but they’re still relatively undiscovered by tourists.

As a result, there’s a very good chance you’ll have the place to yourself and avoid the mass tourism that afflicts Bolivia’s most famous natural wonder.

I was well looked after by the kind owners at Gaia Habitaciones Boutique (£115 for 2 nights) who set me up with Caravana de Llamas. They took me trekking onto the salt flats in the company of llamas Oso and Paco and their handler Santiago, producing a delicious picnic when we needed to let the animals rest. The tour was £65 for the private tour plus £57 for return private transportation from Tilcara.

NB: I flew from the UK to Montevideo and out from Lima, the flight cost £579 (booked July for a March trip).

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